Aaah the school course. #whatthefuckamIdoing (-> thought on you Insta follower).
Why University?
I came to college because:
- I fantasized about sitting in a lecture hall and taking notes on classes.
- I loved learning. I had a thirst for discovery.
- I was told I wouldn't be able to do it
- I chose economics because I had no concrete idea what I wanted to do. It seemed to be the most varied field in terms of opportunities, since everything is economics.
- That's what I thought.... "that everything is economics".
I was told I wouldn't be able to do it
"Votre fille est trop artistique dans ses copies de maths."
I wanted to destroy this belief that I wouldn't be able to do certain things.
Spoil alert: I checked and my intuition was confirmed. We are all capable of doing whatever we want. Our brains can develop and specialize in any field.
It is you who develops your abilities.
In fact, it's not about being able or not able. It's about choice. You know you can do anything you want, you can study science, art, spirituality and so on. Everything is possible for you. And nothing can stop you. Your will is a creative force.
If someone tells you the opposite...how can I put it...it is ignorance. They are not aware of the potential that we all have. We love them hard and we move on.
I studied and I still don't know anything....
I studied for 5 years the economic logics (the following paragraph is not to be read in detail, I propose to ridicule the amount of "knowledge"): money and finance, marketing and communication, international trade, business and labor law, mathematics, statistics, econometrics, microeconomics, macroeconomics, big data, computer science (code, data mining, business intelligence), in-depth accounting, strategic management, history of economic facts, economics of human resources and the labor market, public economics, economics of organizations, management control, corporate strategy, internet and network economics, financial analysis, competition economics, project management, corporate governance, customer relations, business creation, inventory management, BtoB industrial marketing, contract and incentive theory, real options, management control and cost formation, cost and network modeling, business plan creation, economic analysis of taxation,. ..
Now that you know this; that no one can stop you with their perception of what is true and what is false, what is possible and what is impossible, what is good for you and what is not:
What do you want to live for? What drives you? What makes you thrill, puts you in ecstasy, excites your senses, your curiosity, your creative abilities etc.? What are those moments of intense joy?
These are the questions I ask myself.
Besides, they are not so much questions as "the place" where I direct my attention.
Identify them, live them, and reach for them. This is what I want to live. Joy, living fully. Being who I am without limits, exploring this life fully. There's this desire to play too. We have fun with all this beauty and exploration of life. Not knowing anything is incredibly orgasmic.
It is decided, impossible and possible are foreign to me.
Bro. Sista. We are going to die. Sometimes it's hard to believe. And that's okay.
If I hadn't been told I wouldn't have known. I would have thought that people disappear from time to time. Like all things observed, everything changes. Nothing abnormal.
The environment we have created hides death from us. It's understandable that we find it hard to believe we are dead. We tell ourselves this intellectually. But do we really believe it? I don't think so. Because if we did, there would be no need for fear.
By being aware of who we are, fear just isn't there.
Why create and react to societal fears when there is only now?
I didn't know what I wanted
I thought: "everything is economics".
I thought: "I want to understand the reality of others."
Indeed, I perceived a pretty crazy gap between my perception and that of teachers, parents, "adults" and friends. You would have said to me: "what do you want to do with your life?", I would have said:
"I don't understand your question. I don't know what I want to do. I am a little bit in bliss with what is here now. To tell you the truth, I am so ecstatic right now. I don't see why I should want anything else."
Now you know.
This is THE revelation.
My desire: To live only. Not to do. To be able to subsist on my needs only by being fully.
I discovered that it was a choice of environment and a state of mind (beliefs, alignment with who I am and what is) more than a material achievement.
I would also like to try to explain that despite everything I have learned I still don't know anything.
University has taught me concepts and logic. Each one as fascinating and intellectually stimulating as the other. My thirst to play with them was satiated. However, very quickly, from the second year of my degree, I became aware of the superficial character of all this knowledge.
It had no existential / real foundation.
Hoping to understand "societal reality" I discovered that these beliefs were even more perched than I was at first.
A bit shocked I admit.
I started to get bored.
Everything is economy?
By maintaining these beliefs (economic systems etc) we have come to believe that the essence of life is based on them.
However, these concepts are only real because we accept them as truth and as useful to us. We create them by imagination and then translate them into concepts and materialize them. They become, then, part of the experience and of the real.
However, wouldn't we have forgotten their conceptual character? Have we not forgotten the origin of everything? Wouldn't we be lost in this dream? After studying economic concepts and logics, I wanted to look at the very essence of their existence and, therefore, of my existence.
Tools are not useful to me if I am not aware of why I use them and what they serve. Thus, I am interested in the essence of everything, of who I am.
Then I can consider being interested in all these societal concepts.
Otherwise I just feel like I'm missing out on life.
I just feel like I'm missing out on life.
We remember that:
We must realize that no one can tell me what I can or cannot do because no one really knows what is possible and what is impossible. We are limited by: our perceptions, our memories, our reactions to external events, our beliefs, the memory of previous events... all this makes our opinions subjective.
It's magical when you think about it. An experience just for us.
I can't advise you either. Because I only interact within my field of perception. You don't exist as you think you do in my eyes. It's quite a captivating phenomenon. I'll let you think about it (you can ask yourself: if you didn't exist what would be? Is it not from your existence that your reality comes? So, without existing all that is not. In this case, people do not exist outside your psyche either. So, do you also exist? And here it gets deeper and deeper.
I love this exploration.
By the way, I was thinking of giving you a name: Yeah, you bet.
Astronaut of the real.
We explore,
We wonder what is real and what is not.
We deconstruct.
We enjoy and we are curious.
We discover and we stay in awe.
I love it.
- Marie Mazeau certified teacher. Guiding with gentleness, mindfulness and Joy in Paris and internationally online.