The article What is desire for you? is an appetizer. Besides existential questions, sex and exclusive relationships correspond to conceptual and experimental interrogations.
Why talk about sex?
This topic attracts my attention when I feel frustrated, misunderstood, or ignorant about the issue. Thus, it appears occasionally. However, I thought it might interest you.
I'm preparing you a lot of existential topics so a little distraction from time to time won't hurt.
All the more so because, in every statement, you can find answers to your deepest questions.
It is a game of attention.
The body
I have a body. Well, actually, I would never have had the idea to limit it like that. However, something special happens. Through it, I feel life in a very intense way.
Thus, I distinguish it from the rest of my perception.
Indeed, empathy towards all things (humans, plants, animals, objects,..) is never experienced outside the body and the brain.
This illustration brings up an interesting topic.
My perception of the world is completely my own. There are no things outside of me. Everything is perceived and experienced internally.
I am referring here to the experience of life through the ego.
Besides, how can we express something outside the vision and understanding of the ego?
Let's go back to the physical vessel.
I observe the body functioning.
The more I put my attention on the internal, the more I discover incredible sensations.
My relationship with the world changes. Everything becomes an intimate experience with myself. At the same time my reality becomes smaller and at the same time a love affair with life outside the frame.
Besides, it's a bit like making love to it, or to myself, depending on how you look at it.
Only by switching my attention. Mouhaha!
Sex
I just checked the definition of the word "sex". It doesn't speak to me at all, neither the one of sexuality, nor the one of love.
It starts well.
What is implied by "sex" seems to me much more complex. It is certainly not reduced to having genitals. It is about multiple sensations experienced everywhere in the body. As much physical, as emotional, as psychic.
We should change the term people. It is misleading.
If I have an idea I'll let you know.
The thing is that "sex" and living are very close from my point of view. It's about using the body to explore yourself.
Letting go, ecstasy, discovery,...it is also about the daily material experience.
In fact, the choice of attention is crucial. When you focus on a sound, a landscape, or a feeling you can experience similar sensations.
This is exactly what happens during "Sex". It is a letting go of what is. Our attention is directed towards the body, the internal.
But, in itself, living can be experienced in the same way.
My point is that I am already feeling this experience super intensely*.
*present moment, now, or "life".
Sometimes it seems too overwhelming to focus only on "sex". Wanting it, or making it an intention, is not comfortable for me.
Indeed, dating for sex, or expecting to have sex, can focus my attention too much on sensations, ephemeral desires and not on what is, who I am (not the ego here - to be explored).
Thus, it is like wearing blinders. When these thoughts obsess us, they build a life in pursuit of sensations, rather than understanding what is, being fully now. We always want, and we are never satisfied. We live in the memory of sensations of past pleasures, and in the future, wishing to live them again.
Thus, "Sex" is tricky when it starts from a desire of pleasure, therefore ephemeral, and thought possible only in this frame. And if there was more to life? Making love does not answer my question: How to see what is? How to be fully who I am?
Sex is, for me, a choice. I respond or not to thoughts and body sensations.
The choice doesn't matter.
There is no right or wrong one.
I wonder if responding to this desire makes it something of a choice. Like it's not just life.
We distinguish sex from living.
Living is just as sensational and includes sex.
More than that, I confess to an innate disinterest in its materialization. JPPP
As in meditation, my brain observes the desire and switches in a few seconds or minutes its attention from the thing. It is as if I treat it as an irrelevant thought to me. It's quite amazing to observe I must say. As soon as I want to put my attention on the reactions of the body, or thoughts on the subject (often by societal questioning, comparison with others) there is like an internal conflict.
Here I am, now that I am naked in front of you,
I thank you for your kindness, your openness, and your listening,
There are still many things to share on the subject, will see =)
Kisses.
- Marie Mazeau Yoga teacher in Paris and online internationally. Beyond time and space. Guiding with gentleness, mindfulness and Joy.