Sensitivity and relationships

Let's take a look at the challenges faced in relationships with examples and tips.

This topic has intrigued me for some time.

It is easy for us to observe the impact of our words and actions in our environment.

When this happens we get a sensory, emotional feedback.

Example: I lied to this person, it created a snowball effect. Until it comes back to me and affects me. I have a stomach ache, I hate myself, I brood, etc.

From there, we can say to ourselves that the healthiest thing to do is to remember the consequences: "All right, lies hurt, they hurt me. I will stop. I swear transparency, honesty, goodness, kindness. On the other hand, I notice that sometimes, without asking anything, the person hurts me, insults me, hates me. So I have decided to try to understand the human being in order to reduce my suffering and avoid taking all this in.

I understand this decision.

Besides, this is the most common method of education.

Now, I'll give you some tips on how to avoid going astray.

Tip #1: What you are experiencing is not you

First tip : what you live is not you

Let us notice, with the help of this simple example, that everything we experience we do through us.

The experience takes place within us. You are the one who sees things, feels them, hears them.

Have you ever observed that?

That everything that exists cannot be without you?

Everything is experienced through your spectrum only?

In an interview, Elon Musk leads his interlocutor to question the proof of his existence. On what do you base your assertion that I exist as a separate being?

You are reading these lines. How do you know that a person wrote these lines? Who tells you that they have the meaning you give them? These words mean nothing to a person who has no knowledge of the existence of writing. Is it possible for you to perceive things as they are? Without the intervention of your imagination or beliefs?

You can close your eyes, open them, close them.

Without you, does the world still exist?

This type of exercise is very interesting to do from time to time.

It is about becoming aware that what you take to be real exists only if and only if it occurs in your field of perception.

Hop Hop Hop. Don't go away. This is the first point to consider. The first tip. By exploring life from this angle you learn about yourself, and respond with compassion.

This is a loving relationship with yourself.

Second tip : responsability

By taking the point of view of "everything exists if and only if I am", I recognize that there is I am and, then, what is perceived. Thus, the notion of responsibility comes into play. One learns to live in peace, in joy regardless of circumstances.

Meditation helps. To return to this "feeling of presence" is to remember what we are not, what exists beyond our control.

Example: someone insults me. I am aware of what is happening, the bodily sensations felt, the thoughts that come to me. However they are not me. They appear in my field of perception, that's all. I listen knowing this.

It doesn't sound like it but it changes everything.

It is a meditation that I would call "active". Not that sitting meditation is not active. Let's say that I am looking at it from a purely perceptual point of view, not an essential one. If you meditate regularly you know that meditation is not passive. However, from the outside you might think that it is. In short.

Coming back to the breath, to the I am (for those who know the associated yogic teaching), to this "feeling of presence" (in quotes because it is indescribable) throughout the day is liberating. As soon as you recognize that your attention has gone to thoughts, poof, it comes back. And this at any time. The more you train your attention, the faster you will be able to refocus in challenging moments. By developing this ability, you will expand your space of freedom. You will respond to events less and less unconsciously.

Third tip : discernment, intuition

I will come back one day to the benefits of embracing one's sensitivity.

One of the nice things is to feel things to the power of a thousand.

At first, we can perceive it as a handicap.

Like: "the subway makes me anxious, I don't feel well at all. Evenings that go on forever make my stomach hurt. The narrow spaces no thank you etc.. I don't feel comfortable in so many situations! I am not normal! ".

In fact, it is a question of points of view.

It is a golden opportunity to understand oneself, to explore oneself, and to guide oneself through the instinct.

The more we accept, that is, the more we realize that these feelings are not us, not permanent, the less we fear them.

There comes a time when we learn to use this sensitivity as an instinct, an opportunity to connect in depth with others, with the living.

I will write an article on this aspect if you are interested. There is much to explore.

I already mentioned meditation. But again it plays a crucial role.

In conclusion, I have shared with you three of my tips for exploring and being more comfortable in your relationships and in your daily life. So remember: what you experience is not you, you don't control what happens but you can choose how to react to it, your sensitivity can be your best tool to explore, grow, connect.

You got this !

I love you,

See you next time.

- Marie Mazeau certified teacher. Guiding with gentleness, mindfulness and Joy in Paris and internationally online.