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  • Writer's picturelifexploratrice

Communicate in a tender way

Updated: May 17, 2022

I do not know if you have read the 4 Toltec agreements of Don Miguel Ruiz. The challenge "to communicate in a tender, loving way" is similar to the first book's agreement: "may your speech be impeccable".

This challenges is part of a set of challenges (level 6). The first 2 have already been shared to you in articles :

3. To communicate in a benevolent, pragmatic, non-violent way.

4. To pause on paper its thoughts, emotions, felt to carry out them for what they are (I will detail what I mean by that in the article dedicated to this feedback).

5. Meditate 2 hours a day.

The mirror effect

We had the opportunity to better understand how any experiences and life context can teach profound lessons.

Developing one's ability to observe these daily lessons means accelerating the exploration of her/his potential at XXX speed.

In this challenge we will focus on developing this ability through self-control via speech.

We start from the principle that what is perceived is a reflection of our relationship with ourselves, with life.

Meaning, our relationship "to the world" translates our "inner world".

Sidebar: this perspective can be transcended and thus seen in a different way.

In the meantime, let us use the tools at our disposal.

When the way you interact with the world is seen as a mirror of your relationship with yourself, out of love for life you want it to go well.

It depends, among other things, on the way you talk to yourself, how you react to emotions, sensations, discussions, events, etc.

More precisely, it is based on the importance, in other words, on the attention, you give to thoughts.

Thus, our relationship with ourselves and the world depends on whether or not we identify with thoughts.

But then again, we may have gone a little too far for you in our investigation.

I reassure you, this challenge does not require understanding all this.

Only the first perspective (mirror effect) is to be observed and considered.

By practicing this exercise it will be possible for you to discover them for yourself.

Non-violent communication

There is also the famous "non-violent communication technique".

Supra-synthetic synthesis =

1. First, you learn to distinguish your judgment from what is observed in a situation. You communicate these factual observations.

2. Then you share your inner feelings (emotion, sensation) with the person(s) involved.

3. Then you propose an action to take to remedy this frustration.

This method is very popular in business and personal development. However, I will take the liberty of saying that I do not find it very efficient.

It has many limitations, particularly concerning its fundation which relies on distinguishing facts from judgment and opinion, and its structure.

I mention it for your general culture or in case it suits you.

Challenge's feedback

I enjoyed the challenge.

Its potential is supra nice.

It is a subject that has always fascinated me: communication. So I worked a lot on it.

Like many aspects in our lives, it is linked to inner understandings.

It requires the development of lucidity, pragmatism, openness... in short, all the benefits that a regular practice of meditation offers.

This is a challenge that I would undoubtedly repeat until I mastered it.

I hope you enjoyed this article.

We will meet again soon to share the 30-days challenge: put down on paper one's thoughts, emotions and feelings and to realize them for what they are.

With tenderness,


- Marie Mazeau Yoga teacher in Paris and online internationally. Beyond time and space. Guiding with gentleness, mindfulness and Joy.


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