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  • Writer's picturelifexploratrice

Behind the scenes of a project.

Updated: May 17, 2022

Date when the message was sent:

February 27th at 08:34.

"What it is like behind the scenes of such an amount of shares and creations?

As you probably know there are ups and downs.

The daily practice is to look for what is permanent, common to these roller coaster waves, common to all what you experience.

Today, let's share a bit of these roller coasters. A bit like a journal if you want.

The intention is for you to find some relief, inspiration, perspectives or any good vibes really.

So, as I was talking to dear friends, sharing that doubts are appearing sometimes. Like a traveler that pass in your city and then live continuing its road.

So many fears come by, yet you choose to act from a perspective that resonates deeply : "all is possible. Life is not bound to something or someone (what we identify as being me, I)". That's how you explore and challenge the boundaries, set by identification to thoughts.

Yet, sometimes it can be a bit seen as immature or clumpsy.

And that's part of the process. That's how you learn.

So, I have heard harsh things along the roads that were not in accordance to the following perspective : "all is possible. You can do it. whatever you want, go for it. It is now, tomorrow your body will be asleep in a grave. Discover who you really are. What is beyond the seen, hidden beneath the layers."

(I will post on Instagram on these perspectives).

And so, it started at school, yet everything that was announced as a "not possible for you to succeed in" was taken as a challenge.

As deep down, you know.

You know that they don't know what is your potential, how much power of will you store in you.

But the hardest, was/is during the transition Studies and Yoga teacher.

And you know, Yoga teacher is just a term to communicate. There is not really a teacher and a student. Not at all, in fact. There is not a superiority or inferiority thing. More knowledge or less. A right way to do it and a wrong way.

A quote comes to me : "We are just walking each others home" by Ram Dass.

Creation or consciousness is interacting with Love and sublte Joy with itself.

Trough the roller coaster waves in each scene, breath whispers to Take all In and realise what is behind the scenes.

And it is harder as you feel vulnerable and sometimes inadequate or too much presumptuous to believe in such a possibility. So when you hear or read the opinion of someone who believe in all your doubts that's touching the very core of your daily will. As what you do, is a service, and at the same time it is part of the exploration*.

*Not fundamentally though. Exploration is only from the mind point of view.

Diving in a new land :

And so when you hear a confirmation of your doubts, you are like : "so doubts were right !". And you want to let go of these efforts. To let go of the service. And just Be. Aspiring for a sort of death. Hidden from exposure.

Yet, even without exposing yourself purposefully you can encounter this. And that is interesting to notice.

By exposing is meant how it can be perceived from a "consumer" point of view.

From the creator side it is only a play, a test of tools and their potential, an art, a service (love), with no particular "human" meaning behind it...

These doubts can be confirmed, fed by talk not contextualized from a Guru, a teacher. These are really powerful. Cause you value them more.

You can hear stuff that suggest :

That you are not enough in a way.

You are not appropriate. You are not welcome here. You are a fraud. That is a hard meeting and swim.

You want to let go at this point. What if it is really true ? Don't speak up, don't explore, don't try, don't learn ?

The power of it:

Doubts hide the truth and at the same time by acknowledging them, acknowledging how entangle you are with them, how you are hypnotizing yourself with perspectives that does not serve you and most importantly hide your truth, you have the opportnuity to dismantel its functionning. You see things for what it is, and not through the prism of thoughts identification. It is an opportunity. A gift to dig deeper. To come closer to yourself, to your potential. It can be useful to acknowledge the existence (even if it is illusory) of some scenes like this. And reflect on how both wisdom and them are closed. Not separate. That whatever happen they are meditative tools to come back to Life in its depth, in its pure or neutral form, at its heart.

Doubts loose their weights, and reality, as soon as this process of acknowledgment, of bathing in the illusory experience is made. That's one way to do it. From experience, the most efficient one. Yet it demands some lucidity, and a capacity to let go, to Take all In, to say yes to the gross experience as we like to tell in Yoga, not running from the scene with intelectual or supresed emotions.

The scenes are here, so let's make the best of the experience, of these tools, pointers, teachings... no? what's you perspective on it ? That can be tricky if you use only the intellect because this perspective, portal requires to go In with the body, senses, emotions, like a baby who wake up to this world and is completely vulnerable and open to whatever there is, all being new and intense to him/her.

Teaching Yoga and challenges, a small essay:

It seems that there is a certain confrontation/ energy thoughts/ emotional reaction by the older generation and younger one among Yoga teachers. When it is said Older it doesn't refer to older bodies or a certain concept of a "generation". But to a pattern of beliefs (same for "younger" which here illustrates openness). That there is a right way to do things and a wrong a way. That you should pay some respect to a certain way by not claiming your right to teach and believe, transmit what you are driven to. That "being young" you necessarily don't have the necessary requirements of a yogi teacher.

There is a lot to share about it. I won't develop too much for now. But yes, one perspective, approach seems to be defined as being the right one and is asked to be the path for all the teachers (x years of practice, y sort of training and so on). Yet, Yoga is beyond all of that. Yoga is here for everyone, no matter their experiences or theoritical knowledge about it. No matter the body shape, age and so on. Yoga is not a religion, it does not lies on beliefs but on practices, perspectives, exploration for you to experience and see for yourself what life is all about. As it is an existential sophisticated tool it is all including. It is not bound and is pertinent whatever your beliefs are or the way you perceive yourself and life. It relies on experience and share the tools to make it your own. It is incredible. The most high tech tools that is available for anyone, who is ready, to self-inquire. There are not the same rules for everyone, or a way to conduct. Texts and teachings are not there to be used to judge yourself or others. It does not rely on fear you see.

It is a map.

The road is unique to you. The map does not define, the map is indicating. You have the power to choose, you have the power to use or not these indications, what path you take is up to you. More precisely, the path is you. There is no need to define a path, to explain it, to conceptualize it.

There is no one but you who have the power to say yes to the exploration. Yoga is much profound than rules made out of fear or a will to control, much more accessible than that.

There is not a way to do it. Your intuition is the highest guide of all. As a teacher (which again does not mean anything in particular) the service is to guide your intention to you, in a new way, out of concepts and beliefs about who you are or how the world is.

It is pointing you to your divine potential.

Divine because it is so difficult to describe this journey with words.

So, I have a specific perspective on it, frankly I did not know that it was a specific one until doors were closed because of it.

Fortunately, existence has no boundaries. Teachers, texts, Gurus point their fingers with subtility or not. Their fingers is unique to their sadhana, you see. But they are pointing to the same thing.

The question is : are you gonna look to their fingers your all life ? Or are you gonna turn your eyes towards what there are pointing to ?

Yoga does not judge as it is beyond judgment, actually it loves facts, existential facts not conceptual ones. Again, concepts are used to point to an experience, to put words on it. Concepts are not used to define life in a certain way, with the idea of it.

It is a celebration, a striving, a revelation.

And when it is written "Yoga" it refers to its brillant purpose, the one to recognize what life is all about, who you truly are.

To conclude, no requirements are needed in exploring yourself and the depths of life. Life is beyond all of that. You are welcome. Open arms. Whoever you are, whatever you are experiencing, whatever is the expression of it all. As we know that beyond appearances, identification to concepts, there is only, Now. No one, no where, no things, but now.

To go further :

By old beliefs is referred a dogma, right and wrong, rules to respect, the subjective notion of respect and judgement, if you don't conform or reflect these beliefs you are evil. "Being young" you can too entertain this oldest way of approaching, interacting with life; It is really not a question of age. Even though it seems that if not investigated it is more profoundly planted over the years. But maybe not. And we entertain those beliefs by believing in them and acting on them, telling that "it is the way it is" to yourself and everybody you interact with. It is interesting. It is possible to break the circle of course by being conscious of it and having enough faith in the possible. Cultivating openness, compassion, benevolence, love, and Joy for example. For that the practice are there to support you, to inspire you, to instaure some foundations, to give you an access, a glimpse of the canvas of creation, for you to see where to dig, where to explore. "

- All that has been written is a perspective among others. All perspectives are respected and no one is considered better than an other. Is exposed one that resonates with me.

Nisargadatta Maharaj : "descriptions are many and contradictory. Reality is simple -all is one, harmony is the eternal law, none compels to suffer. It is only when you try to describe and explain, that the worlds fails you."-

Lifexploratrice project, reviews of the month :

A little suprise is coming;

Grateful for the time I have to practice, read, walk...

Grateful for each morning.

Behind the scenes anecdote : this article started as a post on Instagram, I saw it was too long so I continued to write it on messenger to myself (haha) and it became what you have just read.

Much love and care,


- Marie Mazeau Yoga teacher in Paris and online internationally. Beyond time and space. Guiding with gentleness, mindfulness and Joy.


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